Grayne Wetzky's Danglebangle Blog

Johan Larsson won last years most accurate shot competition The Buffalo Sabres just released their training camp and pre season schedule, an event that is closely followed by fans of the team. This year all eyes again are turned on Jack Eichel and fellow sophomore Sam Reinhart who quietly produced an excellent season in the shadows of Jack Eichel. However, one fan favorite event was notably absent from the schedule, the annual Sabres Skill Competition. When asked about the cancellation of the event that has traditionally served as a fun and lighthearted break for players and fans alike, General Manager Tim Murray declined to comment. Head coach Dan Bylsma on the other hand admitted that this years skills competition had been canceled because of a lack of qualified participants.

THRUSTING BUNGPIPES CENTERS # NAME AGE HT WT   13 In Knobicon 28 6'1'' 194 87 Yon Cyberdiss 28 5'11'' 200 7 Cunt Mallet 39 6' 200 71 Viking Alemen 29 6'3'' 212 11 Pervert Ikon 30 5'11'' 191 40 Stork Van Squids 22 6'3'' 209 23 Colon Twists 24 5'11'' 183 LEFT WINGS # NAME AGE HT WT   62 Carnage Hill 27 6' 186 14 Rusk Chinzit 36 6' 193 47 Emits Toots 28 6'5'' 228 43 Ornery Chaos 24 5'9'' 175 RIGHT WINGS # NAME AGE HT WT   19 Been Nutbeat 24 6'1'' 190 16 Fir Cheer 30 6'4'' 212 72 Qvi Tri Pornstach 29 5'11 189 81 Sheep Skill 28 6' 202 34 Chat Hulkmonk 24 6'2'' 196 17 Tarry Buns 24 5'11'' 192 DEFENSE # NAME AGE HT WT   28 Ace Lion 27 6'1'&

Everyone loves dogs, and everyone loves Claude Giroux, except for Sidney Crosby. He is more of a cat guy. For the rest of us, what better way to get ready for the Stanley Cup Playoffs than this delightful list of dogs that look so much like Claude Giroux you won't believe your eyes?! 1 . Bloodhound  The bloodhound is a large scent hound, originally bred for hunting deer and wild boar and since the Middle Ages used for tracking people. This breed is famed for its ability to discern human scent over great distances, even days later. Its extraordinarily keen sense of smell is combined with a strong and tenacious tracking instinct, producing the ideal scent hound, and it is used by police and law enforcement all over the world to track escaped prisoners, missing people, lost children and lost pets. But most of all, they are cute as a button!     2. These boxers fighting over a ball Boxers are a bright, energetic and playful breed and tend to be very good with ch

Mats Zuccerello celebrating his goal against the Philadelphia Flyers by invoking Óðr; The divine, senseless wrath of Odin New York Ranger Left wing/right wing Mats Zuccarello, also known as the 'Pride of Norway', finished the regular season with a career high 61 points. Not only is this the most points ever scored by a Norwegian in the NHL (crushing Mats Zucarello's long standing record of 59 points from the 2013-14 season), it also lifts Norway two spots on the prestigious list of NHL statistical leaders by country. With a career total of 203 points Zuccarello lifts Norway two spots past idle Brunei and Brazil, and have taken clear aim at the Netherlands needing only to top 7 points next season to blow past the Oranje (with a slight caveat for a potential Gretzky-like season from Daniel Sprong). What's more, neither Belarus nor South Korea can feel too safe in their places. The 'Norwegian Natterjack' is showing no signs of slowing down and with anot

Gary Bettman unveiling changes to the Stanley Cup playoffs format. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman announced that the league is looking into ways to improve the upcoming Stanley Cup playoffs. "We are always looking at ways to make the experience better for our fans" he says, "and we are confident that we have found a format that will bring in a new generation of hockey fans". A number of controversial ideas were considered, among them adding pouches of fake blood in player's uniforms that would explode upon contact to add more "pizzazz" when players fight for pucks in the corner. For the 5th consecutive year, Sabres owner Terry Pegula suggested to relocate all the teams to Florida but was once again unsuccessful in promoting his "Hot, Hotter, Hockey" initiative. Ultimately, the league as instructed by Gary Bettman decided to go with Gary Bettman's proposal to double the number of teams that qualify for the playoffs from 16 to 32.

Boston Bruins head coach Claude Julien has been offered an in person hearing with the NHL after it was reveal that he had played the first 12 minutes of the game against the Ottawa Senators disguised as Bruins forward Loui Eriksson. Julien was found out mid way in the first period when he got in a fight trying to "spark the team". The general attitude was one of surprise when what was believed to be Loui Eriksson dropped the gloves as Erikkson is not known for mixing it up. Surprise turned to utter astonishment in just seconds as Eriksson was immediately rocked by a series of massive head blows before losing his helmet and revealing himself to be none other than Claude Julien. Claude Julien in the process of losing his fight, the game and his dignity When asked about the bizarre incident Julien said he had entered the game to make sure the Bruins would not miss the playoffs after yet another late season collapse. After the embarrassing 6-1 defeat at home, the Bruins w

Phil Kessel is aware he has been letting himself go since being traded to Pittsburg, but has since been working hard on his A-game The first year as a Penguin has been a on again off again experience for Phil Kessel. Having been one of the best looking people in all of the greater Toronto area, moving south of the border has been a bit of a wake up call for the handsome devil. "I've always sort of taken my looks for granted" said Kessel in a candid interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "but this year has been a struggle. In Toronto I had people around me that look pretty decent, but in Pittsburgh I've had to do a lot of the heavy lifting on that front." It's clear that the season long toll of being everyone's go to wing man has taken it's toll on the ravishing 28 year old. At times he has looked a lot more like a native Pittsburgher than the hunk of man meat the Penguins expected. The Penguins are not worried however. "Everyo

The Flyers made it into the NHL playoffs, and it sucks. It's unfortunate when things like this happen, but at least the Bruins also made it so the world has that to look forward to. It would be best if Gary Bettman starts an emergency lockout as soon as possible and award the Stanley Cup to a sloth bear, preferably from British Columbia.